Mistress ~ James Patterson and David Ellis

Ben isn't like most people. Unable to control his racing thoughts, he's a man consumed by his obsessions: movies, motorcycles, presidential trivia-and Diana Hotchkiss, a beautiful woman Ben knows he can never have.

When Diana is found dead outside her apartment, Ben's infatuation drives him on a hunt to find out what happened to the love of his life.

Ben soon discovers that the woman he pined for was hiding a shocking double life. And now someone is out to stop Ben from uncovering the truth about Diana's illicit affairs.

In his most heart-pumping thriller yet, James Patterson plunges us into the depths of a mind tortured by paranoia and obsession, on an action-packed chase through a world of danger and deceit.

Book Review:

I didn't really go into this book, expecting anything. I hadn't  heard much about the story, which is slightly weird for a James Patterson novel, but nevertheless, I wanted to read it anyway. I wasn't disappointed per se, but I also wasn't thrilled with it either. 

The concept of the story was definitely intriguing. It kept me wanting to know more the entire time. Was Diana really dead? Who killed her? What was Ben going to do next? How far was Ben willing to go for answers? etc. Also, Ben's mental illness, was also interesting. I don't know if he had paranoid schizophrenia or what, but because you could tell he wasn't all there mentally, it constantly kept you wondering what he was going to do. 

One thing that I did find to be kind of pointless throughout the novel was Ben's fascination with facts about various US Presidents. I felt as though each time a new series of facts was presented, it was just a space filler. They didn't have much of a point; even though, they were explained slightly by one of his therapists, it still didn't seem necessary or even that interesting. 

All together, the story was good and I was kept at the edge of my seat. It was a quick read, as all of Patterson's novels are, but it certainly wasn't his best. 

Pages: 448                                                                                                                            Rate: 3/5

Favorite Quote:

“Most people come together through sexual attraction and then try to figure out if they're compatible. The sex distracts them, then they realize too late that their pieces don't fit together” 

Gilmore Girls Appreciation: Fall

Initial Thoughts:

Why would you do this to me? Why would you end this like that? The entire episode was beautiful, I was loving it, so much made me happy and angry and laugh out loud, but then... the final four words happened. One good thing about how they ended it is that there is room for more. They could release more episodes now, because they left too many questions unanswered. 

First off, so much good happened in this episode. Besides the final four words leaving too many questions, Rory is finally finding herself again, she has a purpose, and Lorelai is supporting her again. Emily seems to be finally getting to a content place emotionally. She is doing what she has to do to move forward with her life, even though there will never be another man for her. She is looking healthier and smiling a bit more, and I have hopes for her and Emily again. 

We also have the most beautiful resolution to one major problem that persisted throughout the entire revival, Luke and Lorelai (I'll discuss more in the following section), and it was a tear jerker, full of happy tears. The friendships in this episode were also beautiful. We have Lane, who is always supporting Rory. We have Michelle being his usual annoying self with Lorelai. We have Suki in all of her hilarity being their for the most important moment in Lorelai's life at this point in the revival. We have Emily and her housekeeper, although they do not communicate in the same language, this is the first housekeeper, ever, that Emily has been able to keep around for longer than a day or two. All sorts of beautiful. 

EPISODE RATE: 5/5

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Spoiler Section:

There is so much to talk about, the Life and Death Brigade, Logan and Rory, Rory's book, Rory's relationships with Christopher, Dean, and Jess, Emily, Suki, Michelle, Lorelai's realization, Luke and Lorelai... and finally those blasted final four words!

First, the appearance of the Life and Death Brigade put a permanent smile on my face throughout that entire chunk of the episode. When Rory got those strange notes, that only she saw, with little explanation, I had a feeling that something was up but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Then, Esther said the fateful words, "In Omnia Paratus." The smile crept on and I got that super giddy feeling boiling in my veins. Then the smoke began to billow in the streets and the three guys in wonderful old-timey suits with the masks showed up. Rory immediately smiled too. Now, I saw the three, and we knew that Logan wasn't one of them, but I knew he was behind it, and there he was, and Rory can never resist him. (I mean, who could?) He takes her on another spontaneous Life and Death Brigade-esque adventure. It was perfect. It was beautiful. And then... they slept together. I think it was the closure that Rory needed. In the morning, she was ready to say goodbye to him, possibly for good, and she was ready to go and write her book.

Rory's book, influenced by the true love of her life,  Jess, is finally happening. She goes to her grandparents' empty house and sits at Richard's desk and just writes. She said that it just flowed  onto the page, it was the easiest thing that she had ever written, and it had just been waiting for her to put it on paper. Lorelai, initially wasn't on board, but eventually she concedes and Rory finally has her purpose again. She tells her father, and asks him how he felt about her mothering raising Rory on her own. It's heartfelt, but I don't think it is what Rory wants to hear, but it is what she needed. He tells her, that he feels bad but that Lorelai would say it was what was right, and he too. She runs into Dean, who is married with kids. They have a heartfelt talk about what she will say about him in the book. Even she knows that he was the perfect first love, dedicated, strong, and the one who taught her safety. And then we have Jess, who is obviously still pining for her, no matter how much he denies it. 

Now, lets talk Emily. The woman is sleeping until noon, selling the house, has a bunch of servants and their kids living with her, and is being nice. She seems lost, but then Lorelai, after her realization, calls her, wakes her, and tells her a story about her favorite moment with her dad. The moment he found her skipping school because a boy broke her heart, and bought her a pretzel, covered in mustard, and they watched two movies at the theater, "one for him and one for her," before going home and pretending that it never happened. It was the best birthday she ever had. I think that is what Emily needed to hear in order to move forward again. She sells the house and moves to Nantucket, and works in a whale museum.... But she is happy, happy to the point that she is willing to give Lorelai the money from Luke's Empire trust fund, to expand the Dragonfly, as long as she and Luke visit 2 weeks out of the summer and 1 week on Christmas. 

Let's not forget Lorelai's revelation. She doesn't even get to go "Wild" before she figures it out. She comes home early. Luke is scared that she is leaving him and before Lorelai can get a word in he rants about how he is the only one for her, that he is willing to work on this, that he is happy, that she can have more closet space, etc. It was so sweet. But Lorelai finally says, "I think we should get married." She already has it all set up and it is so perfect. The wedding itself is very Luke and Lorelai. The night before the scheduled wedding, they elope with Rory, at their original venue, and it is beautiful. They still plan on haivng the wedding the next day but eloping allows for less stess on the wedding day. It's very Luke and Lorelai! I just wish Jess was there. 

Finally, we have the blasted final four words:

Rory: Mom?

Lorelai: Yeah?

Rory: I'm pregnant...

I could punch the writers for this.  I mean, they have been hinting at it all thoughout the revival. They were constantly saying that everything would come full circle. The Huffington Post summed up it the best, but basically; Lorelai was 32 when the first season started, she had raised a daughter throughout all of the confusion in her life, starting at only 16, and on her own. Rory, now 32, is about to be raising a child admist all of her confusion. Logan seems to be Rory's Christopher and if that is the case, I really hope that Jess is Rory's Luke. This is why we need more!!!!!! I'm freaking out here everyone!

Amy and Daniel I need more! Give me more! Write me more! Produce me more! I'll give you my two year old baby sister to play little Gilmore.

  

Gilmore Girls Appreciation: Summer

Initial Thoughts:

This episode gave me everything I needed for Summer. It gave me the incredible town shenanigans, friendships, another one of Rory's love interests, and so much more. 

The emotion in this episode was impeccable. We had the hilarity, the despair, the confusion, and even the resentment. Now, with the Gilmores, you usually expect the resentment to be between Emily and Lorelai or between Rory and Christopher, but it never happens between Lorelai and Rory. 

My absolute favorites in this episode though, Lorelai's revelations. By the end of the episode, she realized that she had a lot to figure out. Lorelai is usually the one to wait until she explodes before dealing with her feelings, but this time around she is facing her confusions head on, I love that!

EPISODE RATE: 5/5

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Spoiler Section:

So much happened in this episode. We have April, the Stars Hollow Gazette, Jess, Rory is finally figuring things out, The Stars Hollow Musical, and so much more!

I was so excited when the episode opened to April! I was wondering if they were going to bring her back and when they previously mentioned her existence in Winter, with just a letter, I thought that that might be as much as we were going to get. But I loved the scene. I love that she spends time with Luke and that Luke supports her academic career, even if he can only do so financially sometimes, he tries! I love that she goes to MIT and has everything set for her academically, but she has no social skills. I feel that that is something that could really be delved into. Maybe with Rory helping her out. I think that it would be an interesting story line.  

We also have the issue of the Stars Hollow Gazette. It is everything that I imagined it to be. Just a couple of old people in a dusty office with seriously outdated computers. When Rory takes action to save it, I know that this is her turning point. She isn't giving up. And that is when Jess walks in...

Jess, is just as perfect for Rory as he has ever been! He still gets her! He knows her better than anyone! Also, he has his life figured out now. By the sounds of it, his publishing company is doing well and Jess is enjoying life, besides having to rescue his mother and TJ from a cult. When Jess says that Rory should write a book about she and Lorelai, I freaked! He is so right! That is one story that Rory could never falter with. She knows it like the back of her hand! It is amazing and I hope that she is able to continue it! 

I feel for Rory right now. She is so confused with her life. She doesn't know where her next step should take her or will take her and that is very frustrating. One thing that I feel she finally figured out though, she needed to let Logan go. Odet had moved in and they were still going to continue their affair. I was so glad when Rory realized that it wasn't going to work anymore. She is better than that! He is better than that! I don't know why it started in the first place, but if he turns out to be Rory's version of Lorelai's Christopher, we are going to have a problem. Because Jess is Rory's version of Lorelai's Luke, the perfect match!

Okay, now there is the issue of Lorelai and Rory's huge argument. Lorelai doesn't want Rory to write the book, or to at least figure out something different to write about. Now, I get that Lorelai doesn't want her story out their, every nitty gritty detail, especially the bad, but this is what Rory needs. This could be the one thing that could get Rory back on track and it really gets to me that Lorelai isn't supporting her in this. 

For now, we just have to wait and see how things resolve themselves. 

Gilmore Girls Appreciation: Spring

Initial Thoughts:

I certainly wasn't disappointed with the episode. It didn't give me as much as the first one did, but it certainly gave me a lot of feels. There was a lot of nostalgia in this episode (which I will definitely delve into more in the following section).

Once again, I can not help myself with all of the relationships in this show, romantically and platonically. Lorelai and Rory have the best mother-daughter relationship, and it continues to never falter. The banter and the comfort between the two of them is beautifully portrayed, just as in the first series. Rory's friendship with Paris is still as hilarious as always. Paris is the angry best friend, and Rory, somehow manages to put up with it, and it is hilarious. I wish that Lane was a bigger part of this episode, as she wasn't in the last one either, but I have a feeling that she will be around more soon. I also really hope that Lorelai and Emily can work out their issues, the issues that are still persistent from Lorelai's teenage years and just continue to build. When we move onto the romantic relationships, I do not like Rory's current situation with one of her three original guys (explained further below).

EPISODE RATE: 4/5

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Spoiler Section:

There are a few important points that I have to address in this section: Lorelai and Emily's therapy, the Luke empire, Logan's engagement, and Rory's breakdown. 

First, we have Lorelai and Emily's therapy. Emily, in the first episode, convinced Lorelai to come to her grief therapy with her in a way to have therapy between the two of them. There is a lot of awkward silence; but eventually. Emily states that her issues with Lorelai still stem from Lorelai getting pregnant at 16, taking off with Rory, and then only coming back into their lives when she needed their help to pay for Rory's education. 

What really irritated me about the whole thing was how Emily just quit. Lorelai was still trying and I had hopes for them, but Emily just quit. What worries me about the situation is that that Lorelai is continuing to see the therapist and isn't telling Luke. That worries me, they shouldn't have secrets. 

Then, there is the whole revelation of Luke's "empire." So, apparently Richard left aside a sum of money for Luke to use, but only to expand his company, something that Luke has never shown interest in.  I just really hope that that this doesn't become more of an issue, especially between Luke and Lorelai. 

Before we get into Rory, we need to discuss Logan's engagement. Now I knew that their current arrangement was weird, but I certainly didn't think that Logan was engaged to some french heiress named Odet! The worst part? I still like Logan more than Dean, eventhough my reason for hating Dean was that he cheated on his wife. But isn't Logan doing the same thing now? I know that it sounds hypocritical but I would still rather have Rory with Logan in the end than Dean. 

Lastly, is Rory's breakdown. She is finally realizing how pathetic her current situation is. She doesn't have a steady job, she is having an affair with an engaged man, she is keeping secrets, no longer has a book "contract," and she slept with a man dressed as a Wookie, her first one night stand, essentially the breaking point. It all comes into perspective when we remember that she is 32 years old. Rory has never expected much from her life but I think she just feels supremely lost at this point. It is kind of nostalgic of her college life crisis, when she stole a boat, was put on probation, dropped out of Yale, wasn't speaking with Lorelai, and was living in her grandparent's pool house.  

I think her breakdown was the pivotal turning point that she needed right now, Now, she can finally begin to confront her issues and work past them. And the fact that she had her breakdown in front of Lorelai, means that now Lorelai can be there and help support Rory through her own confusion. Also, it was another great mother-daughter scene. In the end, Rory moves back home, and I think that is honestly her best bet right now.  

Gilmore Girls Appreciation: Winter

In honor of each of the 4 episodes of Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, I will be posting a short (or long) blog post on my thoughts. The first part will not contain spoilers... so read on. :)

Initial Thoughts:

It starts with a blank screen and the voices of all of our beloved characters saying quotes from the fist series. I couldn't help but smile when I finally heard their voices again. When we begin to see the snow covered Stars Hollow, you immediately see how much and how little it has changed in the decade since it left our screens. And Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel have not aged a day! (Tell me your secrets, my Queens!)

The second that Rory and Lorelai are together on my screen, my smile grows and I swear that it is permanent. The banter starts, their typical antics continue, and it feels like not a day has passed. Rory is just as witty and perfect; Lorelai is just as strong and hilarious; they still seem like two halves of the same whole. 

In this first episode, Rory still seems rather put together, unlike how the trailers made it initially seem. But the impending spiral is there, I can feel it coming. She doesn't have a permanent address, but she isn't homeless, per se. She is just travelling between jobs too much to really settle down. All of that makes sense as she is a writer after all, they have to travel where the story is. At this point, it seems as though her career can take one of two routes; it can launch her into an incredible new phase of her life, or it can shove her into the back corner of some really shitty paper in the middle of nowhere writing stories on lost cats. I really hope it's the first one. 

Luke and Lorelai's banter is just as great as ever and his relationship with Rory is still so sweet. He has always been the true father figure of her life and it still seems that way. I wonder if we will see more of his relationship with April in this series. Oh and he lets you use laptops, with free wifi, in his dinner!!!! What has the world come to?

Now, with Edward Herman dead, it was obvious that they were going to honor Richard in some way, and they did that, very well. I cried at the flashback of his funeral and at the large portrait on the way (even with all of its hilarity). I felt bad for Emily who is just so lost without the love of her life, but I also felt bad for Lorelai, whose mother doesn't understand that her loss of a father hurts too. Rory, once again, is the only level headed one in this situation.

When we see one of Rory's love interests, from the first series, appear, I had to pause the episode and bounce up and down with joy. Now for those of you who haven't watched the episode, you can take that as you may, but for those of you who have, I will discuss my excitement in the following section. But I will say that I would be okay with the two of them ending up together in the end. They seem to be in a place where it could work, but their current arrangement could also take a turn as well. 

EPISODE RATE: 5/5

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Spoiler Section:

I have three major points in this section that I want to address. Rory's love life, Luke and Lorelai, and finally Emily's current dispair. 

Rory's love life, is still as fascinating to me now as it was when I was an early teen watching the reruns of the show on ABC Family (now freeform), and as fascinating as when I rewatched the series over the past summer too! When we are introduced the her new (or not so new) boyfriend, I was not impressed, and neither was anyone else. He is easily forgotten, even my Rory. The only reason that I remember his name is because it's Paul, like Paulainka. But then when we see Rory's London affair, I freaked out!

As the London affair scene started,  it was probably the most anticipatory thing in the entire episode. She is talking to someone about how awesome, crazy, and weird her day was, but we can't see who. And then, all of a sudden, after minutes that felt like years, it is... Logan Huntzburger, in a suit! I died! He may not be my favorite of the original three love interests, but he is a second favorite and way above Dean! I really hate Dean! I would more than happy for Logan and Rory to be endgame. The only thing that is weird about this situation is that Rory is in her early thirties and is okay with Logan sleeping with other people, and herself sleeping with other people, when she is not in London. As she says, "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." This situation could work for a little while, but for them to be endgame, it is going to have to be addressed at some point, but by the way Logan acts with Rory, he is still in love with her, and I think that he may be willing to eventually settle down, but is Rory ready yet? 

Luke and Lorelai, are going strong. They are living together and he is still nagging her about her eating habits. But they both have something underneath that is bothering him, eventhough I think it is bothering Lorelai more than Luke who has kind of come to terms with it. Lorelai broatches the subject of them having a kid together. Apparently Luke had wanted that previously, and maybe he still does a little bit, but they are past their prime. Lorelai is definetly moe troubled by that. Maybe its her version of a midlife crisis, or maybe it's her insecurities of not wanting to lose Luke because she hasn't given him all he wants, but they go to a surrogacy office (owned by Paris Geller - who is apparently getting a divorce and has kids), because Luke is against adoption. Luke eventually decides that he doesn't want to pursue it, but in the end of the episode it seems that Lorelai still wants too. This could be an interesting storyline. I will be happy either way as long as Luke and Lorelai end up together.

Emily's current situation seems to be a normal way that a widow may deal with the loss of her husband after 50 years of marriage. At first, she still seems like Emily, just sad. The house is the same, she still has that same contempt for Lorelai, and she still wants the best for Rory, but in the end, the only thing that has stayed the same is her relationship with Rory. Emily is being nice to servants, letting them and their families live with her, including kids. She is wearing Lorelai's old jeans and getting rid of everything. Then she and Lorelai have a nice conversation and she starts going to therapy! 

This is going to be one interesting ride.   

Gilmore Girls Appreciation: Rory's Love Life

So, I write this as I listen to my Gilmore Girls playlist on Spotify and as I wait for the new episodes to stream on Netflix.

Rory's love life was one of the billions of things about the show that I loved. I felt that each love interest was there during a pivotal realization of Rory's life and helped her facilitate great character developments.

*Spoilers from here on out for seasons 1-7*
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Dean & Rory:

Dean, the first boyfriend, the perfect first. Dean was exactly what every girl dreams her first boyfriend will be. He was sweet and caring and he would have done anything for Rory. He spent endless hours watching old movies and tv shows with Rory and Lorelai. For God's sake, he BUILT Rory a car, her first car! 

Every time I rewatch those early seasons, I can't help but be smitten with Dean too, but as time moved along, as Rory grew, Dean stayed the same, and he was no longer what she needed. Rory was more secure with who she was and as an already independent person, Dean began to hold her back. Everything was the same with them. 

When Dean showed back up in Rory's life in season 5, he was married and that hurt Rory a little. That was obvious to any viewer. Dean was her first love and his new wife was kind of a bitch to Rory when they went to school together. But eventually their old flame for eachother is too hard for either of them to surpress and... bad DEAN!!!! I think what makes me hate Dean in the end is that he cheated on his wife. He broke another girl's heart in the worst way possible, by letting her believe that she was his everything while he slept with someone else, the one he really had feelings for. Now although it made great television, it really made me hate Dean. 

But, in the end, we all know that Dean will always be there for Rory. 

Boyfriend Rate:1/3

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Jess & Rory:

Jess was the mysterious bad boy from a big city that everyone in town was skepticle of, except Rory. Rory was curious about him. She wanted to uncover his mysteries. She knew that he was good guy and even that he was an inellectual, like her. I really loved how their relationship blossomed. They started out as tutor and student, and then friends, and eventually they were the picture perfect couple that I hope to be one day. 

Jess was beyond protective, beyond sweet, and thoughtful, but he had a lot of issues of his own. Those issues were eventually their downfall because Jess needed to figure himself out, but Jess remained in love with Rory, always. When he showed back up, he was still too spontaneous for Rory who was in too much of a different place for him then. When he showed back up again, he had dedicated his first novel to Rory and was the only one who could reach her. She was in a terrible place at this point. Her entire world was crumbling in on her. She wasn't in school anymore, she was on probation, she wasn't talking to Lorelai, and she was living in her grandparents' poolhouse. I give Jess the credit for getting her back on track. 

Jess, will forever be the best one for Rory. He knows her better than she knows herself; probably. almost as well as Lorelai knows her. (If it's not already obvious, Jess is my favorite.)

Boyfriend Rate: 3/3

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Logan & Rory:

Logan was the stereotypical rich boy when his character was introduced. He was living it up in college, partying and sleeping around; but, when Rory came along, he began to change. He remained as spontaneous and cocky as ever, but he was willing to work for Rory. He was willing to pull out all of the stops to get her attention. Eventually, their relationship was probably one of the healthiest. 

Logan encouraged Rory to pursue her dreams and to take risks, something that she wasn't able to do before. He showed her what adventure was and made her a better writer because of it. He wanted to hear about her work, her passion, and he wanted to help in anyway that he could. In all honesty, if Jess wasn't an option for Rory, I would have wanted her to accept Logan's proposal, and if she were to end up with Logan in the end anyway, I wouldn't complain. 

Boyfriend Rate: 2/3 

Gilmore Girls Book Tag

In honor of Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life premiering on Friday, November 25th, the coming days will be full of Gilmore Love! This is my version of the Gilmore Girls Book Tag. I watched vlogger readbyzoe's version and then I added characters that I felt were too important to not be included and I also ignored the prompts. So the basic premise of this tag is that you pair a book to a character based on their personality.

Lorelai Gilmore: a fiercely independent, determined, hilarious, caffeine addict who wears her heart on her sleeve.

The Vampire Academy series by Richelle Mead: There are so many books that could be paired with Lorelai due to their strong female leads, but I chose one of my absolute favorites. Rose Hathaway, one of the leading ladies in the series, is so strong and fierce. She doesn't need a man to complete her and could get on all alone if she had to, but as Lorelai eventually does, she finds love and it only makes her stronger in the best possible way. 

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Rory Gilmore:  a determined, intelligent, moral, caring, curious caffeine addict, who, like her mother, wears her heart on her sleeve. (I resonate with Rory the most, out of all of the characters on the show.)

A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks: I know that A Walk to Remember is probably the greatest tear jerker that I have ever read, but Jamie reminds me so much of Rory. She could care less that she is dying, all she cares about is those that she loves and that they are happy after she dies. She is truly awe-inspiring, just as Rory is. 

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Emily Gilmore: a strong (as all Gilmore women are), classy, snobbish woman who only wants the best for her family, but has a strange way of showing it. 

Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen: Now I haven't read this book and I only know the basic premise of it, but for some reason, when I think of Emily Gilmore, I think Pride & Prejudice and that is my only validation for it. 

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Richard Gilmore: an intelligent, stoic, protective patriarch who loves and has so much pride in his granddaughter more than anyone else in the entire world,

To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee: Richard reminds so much of Atticus Finch. The way he acts with his family, his work ethic, and everything else in the novel reminds me of  Richard. 

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Luke Danes: the true father figure in Rory's life, hater of cell phones, constantly angry, incredible uncle, a man who does his best and the only person that should ever make coffee in all of Stars Hollow. 

American Sniper by Chris Kyle: As I was wracking my brain for a character or a book that remined me of Luke Danes, the only one that came to mind was American Sniper. I know that there must be a better and more suited novel out there, but I still feel like Chris Kyle and Luke Danes would be great friends and fishing buddies!

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Dean: the perfect first boyfriend

The Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins:  Peta and Dean are so similar. They would both do anything for the girls that they love. They are certainly the perfect firsts!

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Jess: the dark, mysterious new boy, who has a very sweet side that only a few are allowed to see.

A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks: Now I know that I already used this for Rory, but it really is the only option for Jess too. He was raised by a single mother and was labelled the bad boy, just like Landon; but with the help of a girl, his true side showed itself. Jess is so smart and such a deep and passionate thinker. (I may be slightly biased, though.)

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Logan: the typical rich and reckless 20-something-year-old. He doesn't care about anyone but himself and getting laid, when we first meet him anyway. 

The Girl Online series by Zoe Sugg: Logan and Rory's relationship reminds me a lot of Noah and Penny's relationship. Noah is a popstar who could have anyone but he wants Penny and he's good for Penny. He helps Penny bring herself out of her shell. Logan is the same way when it comes to Rory. 

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Lane: a smart and sassy talented musician but an even better best friend

The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants series by Ann Brashares: The friendship that Rory and Lane has is unbreakable, just like the friendships between the sisterhood. I hope to one day have a friendship as strong, safe, and endearing as theirs. 

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Suki: a silly, sweet, amazing friend and cook

Tanya Bakes by Tanya Burr: Of course I had to go with a cookbook, but the personality behind Tanya Burr is so sweet and naive, that she reminds me so much of Suki

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Paris Geller: she starts out as the annoying arch nemisis but ends up as a solid best friend. 

Burn for Burn series by Jenny Han and Siobhan Vivian: girls in this series were brought together because of a common vengeance, but Paris and Rory were brought together because of their common love of knowledge. 

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Between The Lines ~ Jodi Picoult and Samantha VanLeer

What happens when happily ever after…isn’t?

Delilah is a bit of a loner who prefers spending her time in the school library with her head in a book—one book in particular. Between the Lines may be a fairy tale, but it feels real. Prince Oliver is brave, adventurous, and loving. He really speaks to Delilah.

And then one day Oliver actually speaks to her. Turns out, Oliver is more than a one-dimensional storybook prince. He’s a restless teen who feels trapped by his literary existence and hates that his entire life is predetermined.

Book Review:

The premise of this novel was quite intriguing to me, hence the reason I bought it. It mixes a fairytale with the real world, but not in the same way that a fantasy novel would. What I mean by that is, in a fantasy novel, the fantasy is the real world to those characters; but in this novel, they are separate entities that work in tandem with one another. In all actuality, it is a bit difficult to explain.

Now onto my thoughts... I really enjoyed both of the main characters in this novel. Their personalities were complex and honest, but there wasn't much growth. I'm hoping that in the next novel, there will be more character growth and development. You can tell that Delilah has some deep-rooted abandonment issues from her father and that there is a lack of communication and understanding from her mother. The cliques of her school have not helped with her self-esteem issues either, but that is common for any character that is still living in high school, in both real life and literature. Oliver, feels stuck. He is forced to live the same life over and over again, but he has this longing and curiosity for something different, something real, something substantial.

The love story between the characters was so adorable. I loved every conversation that they had and how when they weren't talking, they were waiting until they could again. The second that they were able to touch for the first time was magic! Their entire relationship is adorable and built on a mutual desire for something new, real, and wonderful. It's beautiful.

Pages: 352                                                                                                                         Rate: 4/5

Favorite Quote:

“When she wanted to escape her life, she read books” 

This Is Where It Ends ~ Marieke Nijkamp

Everyone has a reason to fear the boy with the gun.

10:00 a.m.

The principal of Opportunity, Alabama's high school finishes her speech, welcoming the entire student body to a new semester and encouraging them to excel and achieve.

10:02 a.m.

The students get up to leave the auditorium for their next class.

10:03

The auditorium doors won't open.

10:05

Someone starts shooting.

Told from four perspectives over the span of 54 harrowing minutes, terror reigns as one student's calculated revenge turns into the ultimate game of survival.

Book Review:

This story made me feel all of the things. I was terrified, anxious, relieved, happy, sad, and content. I could resonate with the mind-set of many of the characters, but especially Claire. I felt like I knew who she was from the inside out. Each of the characters is very different and I don't care who you are, but you are most likely going to resonate with one of them. I felt for all of them.

I was sitting in a lecture hall the first day I started reading. When I got to the gun shots, my leg started shaking, my eyes wouldn't stop running over the words, I didn't take the time to process. It all felt like hyper speed and like it was in slow motion at the same time. I had tears in my eyes and fear running through my veins. I felt like this until the last few pages. It was fast paced and full of emotion, that is for sure. 

I don't know what else to say about how incredible it was, other than just that, but the content is something to be talked about. This is the first book that I have ever read, that took place during a school shooting. With the amount of school shootings that have occurred in recent history, this novel is just as important as any nonfiction book. I felt as though, I have been desensitized almost to gun violence, this book, brought me back to reality. I felt that fear  for those characters. I felt their confusion and pain and disgust and guilt. I wanted to be able to jump into the story and save the day, but I couldn't, just as they couldn't do anything more than try to stay alive. We had some heroes in the book though and it made me wonder if any of the people that surround me would be as brave as those characters. Would I be that brave? Truly thought provoking. 

Pages: 285                                                                                                                                Rate: 5/5

Favorite Quote:

"There are no words in that fleeting moment between hope and the knowledge. There is no way to express how a heart can burst and break at the same time, how the sun can cut through the darkness but will case shadows everywhere." 

Eleanor & Park ~ Rainbow Rowell

Set over the course of one school year in 1986, this is the story of two star-crossed misfits-smart enough to know that first love almost never lasts, but brave and desperate enough to try. When Eleanor meets Park, you'll remember your own first love-and just how hard it pulled you under.

Book Review:

Rainbow Rowell has been one of my favorite authors since I discovered Fangirl and Carry On last year, so I was obviously excited to read this novel. 

I knew this book was going to be sweet and lovely, but I didn't expect its darker elements; although, I should have. I could tell in the beginning that Eleanor was going to have a lot of self-esteem issues and I had my own ideas of why. But her issues, went way beyond her insecurity, though. She had trust issues too and I feel that they may have been over-shadowed by her insecurity, even though they were more important, in my opinion.

Eleanor's familial dynamics were also interesting. Today, many families are comprised of step parents and step siblings, and many books and movies make it seem as though it starts out like Cinderella but ends with good relationships. Eleanor's was never going to have a happy ending like that. Her step father was abusive in many ways to her, her mother, and her siblings. Eleanor's father was not there to rescue her, he was only there to use her to babysit his "new" kids. On the other hand, Park's familial dynamics were much more solid and stable. He came from a biracial family,  so he did have to deal with the cultural differences, but he didn't seem to struggle with that very much, even when his "friends" tried to make it a bigger deal than it really was. Park may not have had a great relationship with his father, but his father was always there for his son, even if it wasn't with the nicest comments. 

As Eleanor was being bullied in school by Park's "friends," I assumed that she was strong enough to get through that, and she was. It bothered Park more than it bothered her, which was sweet, but also a complicated factor. What I wasn't expecting, was who was actually writing the nasty and dirty remarks all over her notebook. I believed it was who she believed it was. 

And then, just as I was believing that things were going to get better for Eleanor, at least in her won self-confidence, everything went downhill. We found out who was really leaving those remarks, and it was disgusting. Park had to rescue her from a situation that I never expected. 

The end of the book was a cliffhanger but a cliffhanger that left me content with the end of the book. Would I like a sequel to answer some questions? Yes. Do I absolutely need one? No. I liked that Rowell ended with a statement that could be interpreted to go many ways. I believe that it applies to the happier, mushier, lovey-dovey ending, but you could interpret it to go in a less sweet way. 

Pages: 329                                                                                                                              Rate: 5/5

We Were Liars ~ E. Lockhart

A beautiful and distinguished family.
A private island.
A brilliant, damaged girl; a passionate, political boy.
A group of four friends—the Liars—whose friendship turns destructive.
A revolution. An accident. A secret.
Lies upon lies.
True love.
The truth.
 
We Were Liars is a modern, sophisticated suspense novel from New York Times bestselling author, National Book Award finalist, and Printz Award honoree E. Lockhart. 
Read it.
And if anyone asks you how it ends, just LIE.

Book Review:

This may be an unpopular opinion but I was kind of disappointed with this book. I started out thinking that I was really going to enjoy it. I mean, it is full of angst and frustration and mental illness, so I just assumed that it was going to be right up my ally. And it was, until it wasn't anymore. I think that if it had ended sooner or much differently, I might have liked it more, but the ending just left me with too many questions. I wouldn't say that it was a thriller-like ending but it certainly wasn't contemporary either. Maybe the point of the ending was to leave you feeling confused, conflicted, and frustrated, and if so... good job Lockhart, but it's not something that I want to read again. 

I really enjoyed it in the beginning. I thoroughly felt for the main character. I felt her confusion and frustration in the pit of my gut and I was seriously irritated with the other characters, just as she was. But I couldn't identify the true climax. It was very slow in getting to any form of a resolution and there were many times where I was ready to put it down. I certainly didn't expect that because it is such a small novel, but nevertheless, there I was. When it finally did explain the situation, it made sense, it really did. I understood why her family was confused about her not spending any time with them, they thought she was alone, but in her mind, she wasn't.

It was a valid depiction of PTSD but the entire back story of the tragedy that led to the main character's delusions, I felt that it was a bit chaotic and kind of just thrown together, not really thought through. Now, I could see the connections and hidden explanations throughout the novel, but at the same time, it felt like it should have been something different. 

Pages: 227                                                                                                                          Rate: 2/5

 

Whatever Wednesday: How I Am Surviving College

I stole this image from google, but I will be taking some cool shots of campus when I have time. BEFORE SNOW. Look out for that post. 

To say the least, college has not been treating my anxiety well; but, I had assumed that my anxiety would be a bit out of control in the beginning anyway. The first weekend here was hell! I had multiple anxiety attacks those first few days, one that dropped me to the ground, thankfully I was in my dorm when that happened! But my doctor and I have changed my medications, and so far they have helped so much. I still get anxious, as most people do, but it doesn't incapacitate me anymore. So hopefully this cocktail of medications is what I needed. I have looked into therapy, but I am still resistant. I have been this way my entire life though, especially since I was diagnosed with GAD. I know what my problem is, and I know that therapy may help, but I don't like asking for help. That is a problem that I have been working on, but we will see how it goes.

Other than the anxiety, my classes are awesome. I only have one that I absolutely hate and one that I am indifferent towards. I've discovered that philosophy is just not a subject for me. It is all very opinion based and I am a person that needs definitive answers! It is really aggravating. We started our by reading parts of The Republic by Plato surrounding Socrates' ideas and then finished that unit with reading parts of Dante's The Monarchy which surrounds Aristotle's and Dante's ideology. I am hoping that the readings are really what didn't interest me and not the full subject itself. We will be moving onto Hobbes and Locke, and I believe that I may understand and enjoy those works more. Hopefully. Women in Music is the class that I am indifferent towards. It is very interesting but I don't feel as though I am getting anything very valuable out of it just yet.

I absolutely love my class on Homeland Security. The book is very easy to read and kind of redundant but very helpful to refer to when writing my briefs. I'm learning a very different set of writing that I am struggling slightly with but it is getting better. My professor for that class is incredible. And the other classes that I have, I really don't mind all that much.

I am trying to get involved but I am doing it at my pace because I tried to do it all at once... needless to say, it didn't work out very well. But I have joined Autism Speaks U, which is a chapter of the international organization, Autism Speaks, for University students on my campus. We do a lot of fundraising for the organization and just learning about other ASDs or Autism Spectrum Disorders themselves.  I have followed the mother organization for a few years and what they stand for and do is incredible. I wanted to join Debate Club, but I think that it would be too much for me this semester. There are a lot of practices and competitions, and I just don't have time for that right now.

I have went to my first football game... we won... and I will be going to my first college soccer game this Friday. My best friend is coming all of the way from her University and spending the weekend with me because it is Homecoming Weekend. We are going to tear up the town, kind of!!

I am finally getting into a bit of a routine and feeling a bit more comfortable. I know that I am going to have my ups and downs, but right now I am up and I don't want to go back down for awhile.

If any of you are interested in a more indepth post on any of this, let me know what you would like to know 

October 2016 TBR

I am going to try and keep up with what I read last month, but I do have Midterms this month, so we will have to see how that goes. Here are the two books that I would like to get through this month:

Eleanor & Park

Me and Earl and The Dying Girl

I Will Always Write Back: How One Letter Changed Two Lives ~ Martin Ganda and Caitlin Alifirenka with Liz Welch

The true story of an all-American girl and a boy from Zimbabwe and the letter that changed both of their lives forever.

It started as an assignment. Everyone in Caitlin's class wrote to an unknown student somewhere in a distant place.

Martin was lucky to even receive a pen-pal letter. There were only ten letters, and fifty kids in his class. But he was the top student, so he got the first one.

That letter was the beginning of a correspondence that spanned six years and changed two lives.

In this compelling dual memoir, Caitlin and Martin recount how they became best friends --and better people--through their long-distance exchange. Their story will inspire you to look beyond your own life and wonder about the world at large and your place in it.

Book Review: 

Coming from the point of view, of a person with many penpals, this book really spoke to me, from the very beginning. I certainly wasn't disappointed.

The cultural and economic differences are beautifully represented from the discussion of schools, jobs, customs, all of the way to what the letters are written on. Caitlin, comes from a white family in the United States, with insane amounts of money in the eyes of Martin. Martin comes from a large family in economic despair from third world Zimbabwe. The laws in their countries are different. Their money exchange rates are different. Their school systems are very different. But these two kids, have so much in common. They both love their families and even value their education. 

The book starts our fairly slow as you get to know the two people through their letters and the author's commentary on what they were feeling throughout the waiting periods between letters. Once the book reaches the point where Caitlin is incessantly worried about the friend that she hasn't heard from who is living in a country that is all over the US news due to its economic despair, things pick up a little. I got to the point where I just wanted Martin to be okay, even though I knew he would, as he wrote this book years later, and I wanted Caitlin to be able to save him from his situation. 

I really loved how supportive Caitlin's family was of her communication with Martin and I especially loved how much they wanted to help Martin and his family when the time came. The amount of stress that family had to go through in order to help these people that they cared about so much, but whom they have never met, was incredible. It restored a small portion of my faith in humanity. 

I especially loved hearing about how successful Caitlin and Martin have become and the roles that they continue to play in each other's lives. I think that is the most important part of the book. My penpals mean so much to me and I believe that I do to them as well. Meeting them would be one of the biggest moments in my life, but even if I hadn't met them, if they were ever in need of my help, I would jump borders, commit crimes, spend all of my money,and do whatever I could to help them.  

Pages: 400                                                                                                                           Rate: 5/5